striking out and digging in

The last few weeks saw me taking on patient's who were extremely difficult to handle- not medically, exactly, but emotionally. They demand your constant attention, they are uncomfortable and painful and miserable every second and there's nothing you can do about it. In one case, I had a patient crying out "I'm dying I'm dying" every few seconds (he later coded and died), and on another day I had a guy in 4 point leathers begging me to just let him go down to the police station.

Finally, on my first night of 4, I got every ICU nurse's dream patient: sedated, intubated, no talking, no struggling. It was a GOOD four nights.

Lately I'm having trouble more with my personal life at work. You see, I told a wee lie to my co-workers about my home life, because it was way easier than explaining the complicated situation I'm really in. Now the lie has gotten carried away, and I'm close to being found out. It's important to me to have good personal, or at least good working, relationships with my co-workers, because I had none of that at on my last floor, and I was bullied and treated like shit, causing me to cry every day at work. I want to come clean with my co-workers about what's really going on, but I don't know how. I'm ashamed of my white lies.